


Puhu äänellä jonka tiedän

by AmberEyedLover



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Break Up, Firnedship, Hurt/Comfort, Understanment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:58:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberEyedLover/pseuds/AmberEyedLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this mainly for myself just to get it off my chest. But I thought I would share it with you guys too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puhu äänellä jonka tiedän

Adam knew it and Sauli knew it too, hell he could even see it himself in photographs of them together, the way Sauli would hang back a little behind Adam even in his own home land.

They both knew what it was like to love and then to lose, they both knew what heartbreak felt like with the bad endings of relationships beforehand. Yet the promise of staying friends seemed to pain them more than they were willing to admit.

Adam could see it in his own photos, the way his smile never reached his eyes nor did he wear make up as much, he just couldn’t…not when it had a chance of just washing away with his tears like it had done the night before.

He had gone out to a club with some friends who wanted to try and cheer him up, it was an honest mistake, she wasn’t to know…not yet, the article hadn’t been aired yet so no one knew the truth yet apart from their closest friends and family. She had only smiled softly and timidly asked Adam whether Sauli was at home resting that night because of the flu he had mentioned, a honest question which had Adam excusing himself quietly and making a beeline straight for the clubs back entrance where he pushed out in to the dark alley, his chest tight and eyes stinging once again before a single but hot tear rolled down over his cheek silently.

After spending ten minutes on his own, to calm the empty feeling down inside his chest, Adam walked back inside and made his way to the table where his friends were waiting, worried expressions on their faces turning in to relief when they spotted him.  
Just a simple shake of his head and a muttered excuse about wanting to go home and not feeling well, they were all collecting their things and heading out the club with Adam who, once again put a brave face on for the camera which he knew were lurking around the front.

He smiled and waved a little as he got closer to the car, mumbled words to his friends as they went to different cars as he pulled the back door open and climbed inside where he let a breath out the moment the door was closed and he was safe behind tinted windows. His chest once again going tight as he wondered what Sauli was doing, he knew that he was going out himself, just didn’t know where or who with.

He wanted to believe that it would work out like it did with Brad, that they could stay the best of friends that he could still curl up near Sauli and just talk to him, to let him help with the buildup of stress and hurt from the public’s words.  
He wanted to believe that he could be strong enough and not break down again but the fire which was inside his chest was still burning red hot and it hurt, but he didn’t want any water to drown it out, he wanted to keep it there forever, that in the back of his mind that maybe one day…maybe years to come that they could try again, that they could be together without the stress.

As the car rumbled along the roads and Adam thought to himself…he wanted someone to come and save him from the mess which was his mind, he just wanted to get back in the studios and record, to get his mind on work and away from the mini tour they had just come from.

Helsinki almost killed him; he knew that it was marking not only the near end era of his sophomore album but also marking the end of the era which was his relationship. He made sure that there were more songs, he made sure to increase the humor, everything he done, he done it with a reason, each word in Finnish he tried his best, the dedication to Sauli which he knew made him smile, the small glance to where he was stood told him that but it also told him that he felt the same way. He could see it in his body language, the way he had his arms wrapped around his torso and the way he was leaning against the wall, head touching.

Moving on auto pilot, Adam climbed from the car when it pulled up outside his home, his body heavy and sluggish, all he wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a good bottle of expensive red and a film playing on the TV low while he called someone to just talk too.

His footsteps led him up to his gate, code punched in and the lock un-clicking, he stepped through and turned, the heavy gate dropping behind him before he paused the constant words of ‘make sure its locked’ running through his mind, something Sauli had always told him.

Bolted and tugged on until Adam was sure, he turned and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck as he turned and walked closer to the house, his eyes stinging again as he let another sigh out and dropped his hand down to his pocket and dug his keys out.

Eyes turning up, Adam paused and took in the figure sat on the doorstep, the darkness swallowing them slightly but he could still see the blonde hair and the unsure eyes as Sauli looked up.   
‘’I wasn’t sure’’ He spoke out lightly, voice low before he slowly raised his arm and Adam dropped his eyes away to stare down at the bottle. ‘’I just wanted to talk to someone, but no one else understands me like you do’’ He told Adam as he slowly stood and Adam nodded.   
‘’I know, we can do this and get through it together as friends’’ Adam said softly as Sauli’s small smile appeared with a nod of a head. ‘’we just need a little…a little’’ Adam started before trailing off as he tried to think of the right word for it.   
‘’Usko ja ystävyys’’ He smiled softly as Adam returned it and nodded.   
‘’Faith and friendship…yeah, that’s all we need’’


End file.
